I walk in the front door every day and the emptiness greets me the same way Michael used to.  Actually, it greets me sooner than he did sometimes.  I looked for him today.  I called his name out loud.  I opened the basement door and called, “Michael?” It felt so good to hear his name. It felt good to say his name. Most things in the house are the same as they were when Michael was alive. It’s been a hurdle to change things and when I do I always think if Michael would like it.  I paint and change curtains. I buy a few new accessories, all the while I’m really buying them through what I think is Michael’s taste. I use his colors and then realize that maybe his colors were my colors too.  And then I’m empty again.  I remember when I called and he answered, “I’m over here, Jan!”